Archaeology Time!
Sep. 24th, 2006 03:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
barnabas_trumanI have developed a new Theory on the original purpose of the Egyptian Great Pyramid.
The ancient Egyptian farmers were a rather foolish people--so foolish that they frequently needed to be reminded which way was up. The priesthood was originally assigned the task of giving them reminders when they forgot. This is why the priests carried staffs: to point out Up to the ignorant farmers.
Eventually the priests got tired of pointing all the time, so they embarked on a project of titanic proportions (with the farmers as building labour, of course) to create a permanent Up-pointing reminder big enough to be seen for miles! Yes, the true function of the Great Pyramid was to remind nearby farmers which way was up, in case they forgot.
It may also be significant that the construction of the Great Pyramid began shortly after the discovery of beer. Perhaps the farmers were not genuinely stupid, but simply drunk all the time. Imagine yourself as an ancient Egyptian farmer who has recently been introduced to beer--completely drunk, you fall to the ground; you struggle to stand up but are inhibited by not knowing which way is up. No fear--just glance in the direction of the enormous stone Pyramid, and follow its point!
A similar idea may explain the Eiffel Tower--perhaps the Parisian authorities anticipated vast amounts of wine-drinking at the World's Fair, and decided graciously to give the drunken public an easily visible reminder of Up.
The ancient Egyptian farmers were a rather foolish people--so foolish that they frequently needed to be reminded which way was up. The priesthood was originally assigned the task of giving them reminders when they forgot. This is why the priests carried staffs: to point out Up to the ignorant farmers.
Eventually the priests got tired of pointing all the time, so they embarked on a project of titanic proportions (with the farmers as building labour, of course) to create a permanent Up-pointing reminder big enough to be seen for miles! Yes, the true function of the Great Pyramid was to remind nearby farmers which way was up, in case they forgot.
It may also be significant that the construction of the Great Pyramid began shortly after the discovery of beer. Perhaps the farmers were not genuinely stupid, but simply drunk all the time. Imagine yourself as an ancient Egyptian farmer who has recently been introduced to beer--completely drunk, you fall to the ground; you struggle to stand up but are inhibited by not knowing which way is up. No fear--just glance in the direction of the enormous stone Pyramid, and follow its point!
A similar idea may explain the Eiffel Tower--perhaps the Parisian authorities anticipated vast amounts of wine-drinking at the World's Fair, and decided graciously to give the drunken public an easily visible reminder of Up.
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-25 02:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-25 03:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-25 03:51 am (UTC)It's not that the farmers were dumb; it's that the priests were cosmically unhip. Whenever a farmer would approach a priest, the farmer would ask, "Hey, what's up?" The priest, unfamiliar with this bit of slang that was ancient even when Ancient Egypt was Infant Egypt, kept getting a glazed look in their eye and saying, "Why, that's up," pointing to the sky with their staff. The farmers thought it was great fun that the priests were so woefully uncool, so they kept asking, "What's up?" The priests got so frustrated that they finally built those directional tombs that we see today.
So you see, you were almost right. Just completely wrong.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-25 10:54 pm (UTC)