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LotR Steampunk! ish.
Jan. 12th, 2006 01:13 amI've been pondering the idea of LotR as a sci-fi epic instead of a fantasy epic. Consider the following...
Battle of the Pelenor Fields. The fortress of Minas Tirith is under attack by a huge army of cyber-augmented steroid-boosted Ork warriors, some in T.R.O.L.L. battlesuits. Mumak-tanks are wreaking havoc all over the place. The giant mechwarrior known as Grond has just smashed the front gate, and the leader of the dark forces approaches. Clad in dark robes with a pale crown on his head, the Witch-King is seated on a hulking rusted motorcycle, with big iron spikes on the wheels and a skull mounted on the handlebars. He revs his engine to ride forward through the gateway...
...and is met by Gandalf (played by George Carlin with long white hair and beard), wearing shiny white leather trench coat and wraparound reflective shades, carrying a glowing mithril staff in one hand and a pale blue lightsaber in the other. He is seated on Shadowfax, a bright chrome-plated steam-powered hoverbike floating a few inches above the cobblestones.
"Bring it, Naz-bitch," he says.
Then the alarm klaxon sounds, the sun begins to rise, and a ragtag army of biker mercenaries from the Rohan wastelands rides over the hills to save the day.
Damn, I'd like a poster of that.
Battle of the Pelenor Fields. The fortress of Minas Tirith is under attack by a huge army of cyber-augmented steroid-boosted Ork warriors, some in T.R.O.L.L. battlesuits. Mumak-tanks are wreaking havoc all over the place. The giant mechwarrior known as Grond has just smashed the front gate, and the leader of the dark forces approaches. Clad in dark robes with a pale crown on his head, the Witch-King is seated on a hulking rusted motorcycle, with big iron spikes on the wheels and a skull mounted on the handlebars. He revs his engine to ride forward through the gateway...
...and is met by Gandalf (played by George Carlin with long white hair and beard), wearing shiny white leather trench coat and wraparound reflective shades, carrying a glowing mithril staff in one hand and a pale blue lightsaber in the other. He is seated on Shadowfax, a bright chrome-plated steam-powered hoverbike floating a few inches above the cobblestones.
"Bring it, Naz-bitch," he says.
Then the alarm klaxon sounds, the sun begins to rise, and a ragtag army of biker mercenaries from the Rohan wastelands rides over the hills to save the day.
Damn, I'd like a poster of that.
