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Overheard at the Truman Household
Oct. 23rd, 2009 09:02 pmFederation dreadnought Excelsior enter stage left.
Hydran Fighter #1 and Hydran Fighter #2 emerge from center stage Fighter Base.
They fight.
"Ooh! So can I use my tractor beams to grab one of your fighters and throw it at the other fighter?"
"What?"
"Like this. Here's my dreadnought [Altoids tin] and here's your fighters [12 mm six-sided dice]. I want to grab this one with my tractor beam [pencil] VWEEEEE and throw it at the other one POW!"
"Hold on. So you want your skyscraper-sized dreadnought to use its tractor beams to pick up this bus-sized fighter which is 30,000 kilometers away..."
"Uh-huh!"
"...which the rules do allow you to do, which I think is very generous, and then you want to use your tractor beams to make that fighter smack into the other fighter, which is 40,000 kilometers away and moving at 15 times the speed of light???"
"I want to throw it at the other fighter."
"No."
"I totally think I should be able to make them smash into each other."
"Do I need to look up the rule for you, or can I just paraphrase from memory? 'There are no rules for ship collisions. There will never be rules for ship collisions. Ships cannot collide or be made to collide. Please stop sending us letters asking for collision rules.' I think that about sums it up."
Hydran Fighter #1 and Hydran Fighter #2 emerge from center stage Fighter Base.
They fight.
"Ooh! So can I use my tractor beams to grab one of your fighters and throw it at the other fighter?"
"What?"
"Like this. Here's my dreadnought [Altoids tin] and here's your fighters [12 mm six-sided dice]. I want to grab this one with my tractor beam [pencil] VWEEEEE and throw it at the other one POW!"
"Hold on. So you want your skyscraper-sized dreadnought to use its tractor beams to pick up this bus-sized fighter which is 30,000 kilometers away..."
"Uh-huh!"
"...which the rules do allow you to do, which I think is very generous, and then you want to use your tractor beams to make that fighter smack into the other fighter, which is 40,000 kilometers away and moving at 15 times the speed of light???"
"I want to throw it at the other fighter."
"No."
"I totally think I should be able to make them smash into each other."
"Do I need to look up the rule for you, or can I just paraphrase from memory? 'There are no rules for ship collisions. There will never be rules for ship collisions. Ships cannot collide or be made to collide. Please stop sending us letters asking for collision rules.' I think that about sums it up."
