barnabas_truman: (young whistler)
"Could you get a couple bottles of the raspberry tea please?"

"Sure."

*pause*

"Hey, if you tied two of these together you could make tea-chuks."

"Tea-chuks?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so confused."

"They're like nunchuks, but with tea instead of nuns."

"I liked being confused better."

Dwarf Tea!

May. 11th, 2014 03:47 pm
barnabas_truman: (dwarf)
Types of tea that sound like monsters from Dwarf Fortress:

The deep oolong is a colossal creature that dwells in underground lakes, pale, hairless, and nearly blind, shaped something like a seal and something like a worm.

The melon oolong is a smaller domesticated relative of the deep oolong; its name comes from the Elven word for "friend."

The orange pekoe a brightly colored jungle bird that can learn to mimic the speech of sentient creatures.

The golden pu-erh is a small flightless dragon with metallic yellow scales.

The Lapsang Souchon are diminutive gnomes with dark skin and great wisdom. They live solitary lives in rock huts on mountaintops, contemplating the stars and making maps which they sell to travelers.

The rooibo is a giant tan-colored rat with powerful hind legs built for jumping and a pouch in her belly to carry her young.

(Feel free to challenge me with other tea names.)

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