barnabas_truman: (young whistler)
"Maybe I could make a lemon curd jelly roll."

"What if you used shortbread instead of cake? You could roll it while it's hot."

"That would not work. The shortbread would fall apart."

"How do you know? Have you tried?"

"I don't need to try it; I can already imagine exactly how it would turn out."

"Ah, gedankenkuchen.
barnabas_truman: (army)
*pours bbq sauce onto ham*
"From each according to his ability! To each according to his need! The workers control the means of production!"

"What are you doing?"

"Applying liberally."

-----

"Bacon should be kept at 165 degrees for food safety."

"Is that Fahrenheit, Celsius, Kelvin, or, uh, Roentgen?... no, wait, not Roentgen..."

"Do you mean Rankine?"

"Yeah, Rankine. Any bacon that is 165 Roentgen is probably not bacon you want to be anywhere near."

-----

"Vegemite and Marmite are pretty much the same thing, right?"

"Yeah."

"But Nutella is different, yeah?"

*shocked and horrified stare*

"Oh come on, they're all basically thick brown spreads enjoyed by Australians."
barnabas_truman: (army)
one bag bananana chips

one bag lightly salted cashews

one bag dried cherries

one bag chocolate-covered espresso beans

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barnabas_truman

June 2017

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